Mind in the moment
It's a struggle. Not everything, but many things. My focus is misguided, my thoughts are unsettled and my confidence breaks with the minute — at least not completely.
My intentions for this new season, and the year overall regarding education, health, spirituality, and finance — I have betrayed my goals. With most of it nothing like progress (save working out, which I somehow have managed not to toss out completely).
Perhaps a place of strain is to witness others with the same set of objectives accomplish theirs and the world is left to wonder if you are truly inefficient or just unlucky.
College has been bad, finance has been awful, my spirituality is dark and even my health is beginning to shake under the weight of my worries.
Incidentally, as I write — I suppose I have found a piece of my problem: Worry. I worry my efforts will accomplish little to nothing. I worry the world as I know it will not believe me for all I am capable of. I worry time will drag too long before I find anything tangible to call my own — I worry.
I know better not to worry, but it is only in fiction I know this. It seems nearly impossible to pretend to be in shivers while naked in a sauna. To tell others not to worry seemingly is a lie we have to tell when there is nothing else we can do for them. Many times it seems impossible not to worry.
Albeit, as I write — I refuse to worry.
Que sera, sera.
I want to accomplish the things I have in the chambers of my heart to accomplish and while I am tempted to force my fortune, I know I cannot do what is beyond my influence and it is in this realization I rest my thoughts.
My time will come to me, whenever it comes — I am certain it will come. Of course, I hope it comes sooner. However, until then. I will pray.
Why worry, when you can pray.
Until again, be safe.
— WILLIAMS FALODUN
